By Meryl Ain
My mother would have
turned 93 this year. When she died after a brief illness in November 2006,
although I knew she had lived a long life, I was bereft. There is never enough time with a loved one.
My mom was my best
friend, a reliable loving, comforting, and wise presence in my life. I
spoke to my mother several times a day.
When there was a lull at work, she was the one I called. When something
wonderful happened, I called her. When something challenging happened, I called
her. When I needed advice, she was the one I trusted. I could always count on
her to be a calm and intelligent sounding board.
She looked at least
10 years younger than she was, and even when the freak cancer attacked her, her
mind and heart were still intact. Although I was happily married with three
grown sons, a daughter-in-law, and a granddaughter, I confess I didn’t know how
I was going to go on without my mom. In addition, although I was in my 50’s, I
was now officially an “orphan,” my father having died after a long illness a
year and a half before. It meant that I
would not be able to call her when our other sons became engaged, nor would she
be at their weddings. She would not enjoy seeing our granddaughter Grace, who
was then less than two, grow into the beautiful and talented eight-year-old she
is now, nor would she even know future grandchildren.
I was in a funk,
going through the motions but not really enjoying it. I was told it would get better after a year
and that I needed closure. I began speaking with my friends about how to
achieve it and came to the conclusion that there is no closure with those we
love deeply. They are in our lives and in our hearts forever, although they are
not physically present. Some keep alive their memories through small acts, such
as looking at photos and making recipes.
Others do big things to carry on the legacies and values of their loved
ones, such as establishing foundations.
My mother was
essentially a cheerful, optimistic person.
When I was bored, sad, or depressed, she would say: “Get yourself a
project.” A project could be anything from cleaning out a closet to writing a
book. My mother had actually written two unpublished manuscripts, one about her
life as a WAC in World War II, and another about her family history.
So I decided my
project would be to interview people about how they keep alive the memories of
their loved ones. I was hoping to get ideas from them, and to heal myself. I
enlisted the support of my husband, Stewart, and my brother, Arthur, and
together we captured the stories of more than 30 individuals who created
tributes – big and small – as living memorials.
The project was therapeutic and cathartic for us; not only did it give
us wonderful material, but it turned into an inspiring book and an amazing
tribute to my mom.
It is our hope that
those who read The Living Memories
Project will find comfort and meaning through honoring the never-ending
influence of those who are no longer here.
About the
Author:
Meryl Ain holds a BA from Queens College, a MA from Columbia University Teachers College, and an Ed.D. from Hofstra University. She began her career in
education as a
social studies teacher before she became an administrator. She
is also a freelance writer specializing in issues related to education,
families, parenting, and children and has contributed to Huffington Post,
Newsday, the New York Jewish Week and The New York Times.
She embarked on The Living Memories Project after she lost both her
father and mother within a year-and-a-half. She and her husband Stewart live on
Long
Island
and have three sons, three daughters-in-law and three grandchildren.
For More Information
- Visit The Living Memories Website.
- Connect with The Living Memories Project on Facebook and Twitter.
- Visit their incredible trailer at YouTube.
- The Living Memories Project is available on Amazon.
- Order the book from Little Miami Publishing.
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